I would like to start by saying how much I love my wife and am so happy that she said yes when I asked for her hand in marriage and help me start a family. I would also like to add that Tina and I in our entire marriage have never had a fight in any way, yes we have had a few disagreements but they have never became a fight or an argument. We can safely say that the main reason for this is that for everything that we disagree on we talk about and come to an understanding about.
My personal pet peeve is societies belief that fights between spouses is normal and should be expected. And this creates a new kind of problem, if your expecting to fight with your loved one then what do you think is going to happen when the first disagreements come round. Your going to have a fight, and for the stupidest reasons I might add. Tina and I have read the entire Book of Mormon and are now reading the bible, we have never read anywhere that fights and contention are good or should be allowed. Quite the opposite really. Our entire religion is based around love and harmony, as are many religions in this world. So why do so many people believe that this is normal? This could be a tool of the adversary in his attack on the family. So the next time someone gets married don't be the one that tells them to be ready for the fights because you could be the one setting them up for failure.
So as you probably noticed I decided to do my talk on communication between family members.
I personally feel that one of the only ways to keep your relationship strong and alive is to talk with your spouse, and I don't mean the hey honey how was your day talk. I mean a real talk, like you did when you were dating and trying to learn about the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with. This may seem like strange idea but its really quite easy. Your spouse may have many new stories for you. Or it may just be listening to your wife vent about something that happened between her mom or sisters (men here is a point of advice. If she had a bad day and wants to talk about it STOP WHAT YOUR DOING AND LISTEN, and do not try to fix it unless she asks for your help. She just wants to vent)
After a few years the person that you married can become a totally different person and you need to keep up on these things. Men you need to keep as well informed on your wifes as you do on your favorite football team or the latest new sports car. And women, men are simple creatures but we do like to be noticed and listened too, but we also notice more that we let on and we tend to be rather emotional inside. We just dont show it as well.
So we all like talking about our days, or something fun that happened at work, and this is good, But sometimes we need to just sit down and have a full on conversation, maybe you can even make a date night out of it and go to a nice dinner.
So what else does communication between spouses entail? Well theres lots of things, for starters we could sit down and talk about the budget. In this day and age money and debt seem to be the number one cause of divorce. So what can we do to fix this? We can start by telling each other about the things that we need to buy or have bought for that matter. This also goes along way in helping get out of debt. In our marriage if a certen item is not talked about and agreed upon it does not happen, now I know that there are a few things that just have to happen (gas for the truck, an emergency medical bill, or that box of deodorant that you just remembered that is needed) and in my experience if you tell your husband or wife about those when you get home there is no problem.
Another thing to point on is how men and women tend to do things that drive the other insane but how can we fix these things if we dont talk about them. If my truck has a leaky tire that I have to constantly fill back up im not going to ignore it and hope it goes away because these type of things just tend to get worse. Just like small things that annoy you in marriage. They have to get fixed before they become a big problem. And when your spouse comes to you and says they have a problem don't take offense. That will only lead to a fight. Instead just listen and try to fix it. Another thing to avoid is trying to point out one of there fault in return. Thats always a bad idea.
